Traumatic events can include natural or man-made disasters; accidents- including motor vehicle or other machinery; crimes; assaults and violence; including combat; and medical events. Not only those directly involved, but those witnessing, or even learning about can be subject to post trauma.
Normal reactions to unexpected and frightening events can include: feeling angry; feeling sad; feeling anxious; feeling guilty; feeling unsafe or hypervigilant; being self-critical about your whereabouts or how you handled things; wanting to avoid reminders; re-playing scenarios; feeling numb; difficulty sleeping or becoming very tired. These are just some normal responses.
Some helpful things to do after after such an event are: Care for yourself by staying hydrated and eating healthy (avoid the temptation of alcohol and less healthy comfort foods); get rest; reach out to friends, family or other support; exercise, spend time with pets; reduce other obligations and stresses; talk with others about your experience; avoid exposure to excessive news coverage. Most people will be fine and these experiences will subside after some time; however, some people may have residual effects- especially if they have experienced prior trauma or underlying anxiety.
Here we are on January 29th, 2019...many of us are experiencing that "Wasn't it just January 2018??" phenomenon. The start of a new year can bring renewal,or it can bring a sense of pressure, discouragement, or futility. Do you often feel like you have bitten off more than you can chew; and have now created more stress. Or do you avoid making resolutions at all? Change is slow. And change is a never ending work in progress. Often, we set lofty goals and then beat ourselves up when we do not actualize those goals. Or when we don't actualize them to our own high standard. I have found, over the years, that while general broad sweeping goals are good beacons to have to give us a sense of where we want to be heading- the best way to actually build actionable steps and feel a sense of accomplishment (which by the way, then spurns more steps) is to pick very specific, even very small tasks to add in to your daily routine. For example, after reading a health article on how crucial it is for humans to sleep between 10 am and 2 am in order for physiological reparations to occur, I decided to begin setting my phone alarm for 8:30 pm to cue myself to begin the nightly routine of preparing for bed to ensure sleep somewhere between 9 and 10. And because expanding my use of meditation is another task I wish to build upon, I have downloaded an app to use as part of the falling asleep process- so that it is built in to an existing routine. Some other tips for setting change into action are:
*Make the action small and measurable
*Start with tasks you are more likely to take on, so that you can use that "Yeah, I've got this!" exhilaration to endeavor the harder things
*Pair it with something you already do (brush teeth, eat breakfast, etc)
*Use technology to remind you (your phone or an app can prompt a reminder, and also serve as a motivator as you see your actions adding up if you implement apps, trackers, journals, biometrics)
*Implement a buddy system (family, friend, online group, or even a therapist...these are referred to as "accountability partners" ;-)
*Do not allow a bad day to deter you- tomorrow is a fresh start
You've got this!
Dating.com compiles some good guidelines to follow whether you are new to online dating, or just want a reminder: www.datingadvice.com/online-dating/online-dating-rules